I often forget how special Books & Books is. Every bookstore is not minutes from South Beach or Venetian Pool. Every bookstore does not get shoppers like Sir Paul McCartney, Michael Moore, and Shakira. Every book store does not host author appearances with Bill Clinton, Barbara Walters, and Shaquille O'Neal.
|Does Clinton do candid shots? Of course not. . . only if you're Becky Quiroga.|
Yet there's a dark side to the celebrity-studded bookselling lifestyle, one you've probably never heard about but which claims the good moods of half a dozen booksellers a month.
Don't see it? Let's take a closer look.
Yes, that's right: autograph theft.
|If Shaq knew people were doing this to his books, he'd go Punisher.|
|I can't find my picture of Gina Gershon dressed as a naughty nurse for the appearance, so enjoy this instead.|
Since then, we've found slashed copies of Jerry Rice's Go Long, Alonzo Mourning's Resilience, Elizabeth Berkley's Ask Elizabeth, and Condoleezza Rice's No Higher Honor. Apparently, sports figures, people with the last name Rice, and people from the movie Showgirls are high-risk groups.
Why not just steal the book altogether? Sure, it's easier to sneak a piece of paper out the door but I think the real reason is that the thief likes to rub our faces in it. There's a place in hell reserved for this perpetrator (perpetrators?) wherein paper-thin slices of skin are removed from portions of his/her body over the course of years. S/he will plead for death but find none.
But that's just my opinion. In the meantime, I'd like to catch this asshole in the act. It would almost be worth him doing it, just to catch that asshole doing it.